Sounding off loud and proud | reporting as ordered in South Korea | Hooah!

Everythings Okay, I�m a Professional

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I got busted for doing my job today. I was called into the PMO to explain to them why I was driving code(lights) down the road at a high velocity. I explained to them very simply�I�M DOING MY F&^%ING JOB!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Since when do we have to get permission to do traffic stops? What the heck has this place come to? We have to get permission just to breathe. I can�t wait to get stateside�.hell, send me to Iraq, it�s gotta be better than this. I�d rather deal with the reality of bullets flying past my head than deal with the drama of a damn platoon �division� on a post thats tiny enough to kick yer partner across. That last bit came from the fact that I work with this one guy too much�pay no mind.

Goin To The Field

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I got assigned for ammo gaurd Sunday night. Being in 4th Platoon it�s really the closest thing to the field. I wanted to go in Full Battle Rattle with my SAW but they wouldn�t let me. Bummer. It�s 12 hours of gaurd duty so I should have some interesting stories to tell about me warding off waves of North Koreans. I�ll fill all you folks in on the detail when I get back from my debriefing. Wish me luck.

What do you think? Goatee? Or muttenchops?

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This is my bro over here in Korea. Everyone mixes our names for some reason. And our old Provost Sergeant always had the idea that we woke up in he morning and confered to see what kind of stupid questions we could ask him that day. Good stuff. Anyway, he kept crying that he wasn�t on the site and that it was only common sense that says since we are family that he had to be on there. I kicked him in the teeth and said�well�.I told him that I�d put him on the site.

Patrol Update

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Haven�t posted in a while. Got a few good stories here for you folks. Hope you enjoy�

Story #1:
No sh$% there I was�They got me on day shift now so I�m getting the chance to work out in the freezing cold here for a couple days. Besides the freezing cold, the gates not a bad duty. You get to tell people where to go and yell at them when they do stupid stuff.
Lo and behold, there I was doin my gate duty out in the middle of traffic directing people to their proper lanes and this guys drivin up to the gate a little fast. I motion with my arm which lane to go to and he starts making his lane change but he doesnt really do it fast enough becuse his damn mirror smacks my hand. Lucky for me I have muscles of pure titanium�unlucky for his mirror cuz it snapped off right there�heheh. I picked up the pieces and gave them to him and told him to slow down. You lose buddy.

Story #2:
So there I was, knee deep in grenade pits�Again doin the whole gate thing, freezin my fingers off when this guy comes drivin into my gate talkin on his cell phone. I send him to the proper lane and tell him to hang up the cell phone on his way by me. He, of course, doesn�t heed my warning and instead proceeds straight through my gate without stopping at both the ID Scanner and the Vehicle Search lane. I�m chasin after him telling everyone he passes to stop the dang vehicle. Finally someone flags him down and tells him to go back. Soon as he gets to my location I gave it to him. Yep, all 20 rounds of my M-9 into his skull cap. Then I threw his body under the wheels of his own truck then proceeded to drive over his body repeatedly till there was nothing but a grease spot on the ground�.oh wait, that was something else. Actually what I did was I got into his face and told him that if he ever flew onto my post like that again and did not stop that we would not hesitate to open fire on his vehicle. I can�t even begin to think what was going through this idiots head as he just drove onto a military installation like it was his brothers ranch. If this were my Army I would have him shot and hung him over the gate to show everyone what we do to people who barge onto my posts.

Sotry #3:
Seriously, there I was�Drivin around post yellin out the window at people tellin them to do stuff when this guy pulls up next to me and straight out gives me the bird. Whoa�was that for me? Oh yah, so he peels out tryin to get away and we flip on the lights and sirens and go screamin after this guy. Now, mind you, this post is fairly small so we must have made the same lap around post at least 36 times before this guys hooptie runs out of gas. He throws himself out the door and does 4 combat rolls to the side before jumping up and doing 3-5 second dashes in the grass. We get out of the patrol vehicle and watch for a couple minutes then look at each other say in unison�."It�s go time.� We whip out our PR-24�s and proceed to beat the stuffing outtta this chump for a good 12 minutes before the Patrol Supervisor pulls up and yells out the window, �What in sam-hell are you guys doin�!?!?� We tell him how he gave us the bird then made us chase him around post 36 times before he ran out of gas then tried to run away sorta. So Patrol Sup joins in with the beat festival�er I mean subject apprehension. The whole time we�re smackin this guy around we keep saying �Stop resisting sir.� in order to avoid the penalties for hitting a man repeatedly with a PR-24�and an occasional boot. So we finally get tired of pumel-er I mean apprehending this guy and we say to ourselves�."what did we pull him over for again?� Noone remembers so we just say �Have a good day sir", wipe the blood off on his jacket then hop back in the vehiicle and resume patrol duties. There were no photos or video of this incident.

Note: One of these stories is not entirely true. Use your judgement to figure out which. Hope you have pretty good judgement skills. Oh and just remember God says �Do not judge.�

Sleep Deprivation

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I am currently training myself for the Special Forces program. I�ve been missing sleep for extended periods to ready my body for the sleep deprivation training that i always hear about. Just this morning I completed a 48 hour stretch that was pretty brutal. I know that the training the SF gets is little more brutal seeing as they just get to sit there and not sleep, but I had CQ and I just used my XBox during the late night hourse of 2-5 in the morn. But overall it�s nothing near the real training�.maybe I should get in Full Battle Rattle next time and set up a hasty fighting position in the CQ offic and do Challenge and Password with everyone that enters. Yah�that way I�ll be hi-speed. I wonder if the Arm�s Room will let me check out my SAW for CQ Duties. We�ll see.

PFCIC Signing off�

Update:

Well, I figured out a way to beat the system. I stay awake for a good two or three days so I can get a decent sleep on the third day. I�m so awesome.

Recent Events

Out on patrol tonight we were called out to a Traffic Accident. The report was that an American hit a Koren child with their vehicle. We were instructed to secure the scene off post so we headed out to see what was going on. As we arrived on scene my partner and I started talking with the Korean National Police to see what happened so far. I went over to a group of Americans and asked them what had happened. One person was really shook up and started to tell me what happened. They told me that they had struck a child with the side mirror of the vehicle. As we walked over to the other side of the vehicle I noticed that there was no side mirror. Looking around the area around me on the floor I saw shards of plastic all over. After getting some more information I learned that the child was just high enough for the mirror to strike him in the face. After a quick scan of the area I saw the drivers tire marks where they slammed on the brakes. The vehicle was obviously moving at a pretty good rate to have completely shattered the mirror on a child�s face as it did. The child had already been taken to the nearest hospital and was said to have been conscious when they took him away.

I brought my digital camera to take a few quick shots of the scene to preserve what was there when I arrived. I didn�t see as much debris as I should have though due to the fact that the KNP and someone else had already cleaned up most of the mess. I could only take pictures of a few things. I assembled a simple montage of the only debris left on scene. it�s not much but you get the idea of what happened to the mirror.

We�re Famous Out Here at the Hump

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Just last month we got the pleasure of hosting the 2nd Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders event here at The Hump, and now we get to host the infamous Papa Roach. Yah, those guys that did that one song about bleeding and stuff. Yah, so anyway, Todd�s all amped cuz he touched the lead singers hand�.oooooooohh. Yah, that�s nothing, one time at a Michael Jackson concert I caught a drop of MJ�s spit in my mouth. Immediatley like ten chicks jumped on me tryin to make out with me just to get the spit. I locked em out. It�s my spit. Yah so I kept the spit in a jar and it sits on my night stand and I make wishes off it every night. Beat that Todd Spango!

But seriously though, Papa Roach is comn here the 30th of this month so I�m gonna go mosh and bust some heads. Think they�ll let me take my PR-24 Side Handle Baton into the pit? I hope so�

Last One�I swear

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Just another quick post here�I was asked again �Do you ever not talk?� This time I was ready for it�I immediately whipped around in my seat and shoved the barrel of my 9 mike mike down his throat and said �NO!! DO YOU?!?!� yah that shut him up pretty quick. So now noone tells me I talk too much�yah it gets quiet when I walk in the room now�.somebody say something.

Write Me Bad�er Color me�yah nevermind

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Someone send me something so I can bug the mail clerks�oh and Todd too�he likes bugging mail clerks�no he loves bugging them�alot.

Job Security

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Bad news folks�my job is in danger! Yup, someone actually does have it out for me. Now my paranoia isn�t fer nuthin�someone is out to make my life miserable. I walk into the PMO today to start my shift when I start getting comments like �You were this close to coming back to the desk.� Now, it�s a good thing there were others to control me cuz that sounded like a death threat to me so I started to pull my sidearm and was about to do some of that �thinning of the herd� stuff but they grabbed my hand before I could start thinnin and made me put my gun away.

Lucky for me I have contact�s in high places that watch my back. Oh yah, good ole Number One was there to fight for me every step of the way. Now, I don�t know too much about how that �How To Be a Good NCO� thing werks but SSG Colon is THE greatest. I mean, I doubt anyone else in my chain of command would have looked out for me like that behind enem-er I mean CoC(Chain of Command) lines. So this post is a huge Thanks to the better half of the NCO community. I am extremely grateful having the knowledge that my CoC isn�t just using me but actually does care for my �Health and Welfare".

Oh and everyone tell Todd that he�s not going to have a very bueno life if he doesn�t put his foot down. I mean, there are times when you just have to say�Do it. Do it.

*Thump thump* Hail Todd!!

�let�s see how stupid these people reeeeally are.�
- Earth Dick

NO DESSERT FOR YOU!!!

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Too tired from PT and work�will post tomorrow�.maybe.

Farewell to a Great Provost Sergeant

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Tonight we had a farewell party for our outgoing Provost Sergeant. The Provost Sergeant is the NCO in charge of the Provost Marshall Office�or Sherriffs Office..whatever suites you. Anyway, we went to the good ole Nightwatch Cafe where I ordered a Ham n Turkey Hoagie�.and I must say, it only made me hunger more for a nice warm Country Melt from back home in CDA�I couldn�t even think of the name of the restaurant that I got it from�.It�s been too long. Anyway, I thought he was one of the best NCO�s in the entire company and am going to miss him greatly. I know this place will never be the same without him, but hopefully the incoming Provost Sergeant will have a leadership that is as great as his was. I just wanted to post a farewell and Good Luck on all your endeavors. Oh and if anyone ever sees �Dave� back in the states, tell him I said Howdy and that I have a bunch of questions I need to ask him.

A New High�er Low

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I just watched Saw�for those of you who don�t know what Saw is, it�s the latest horror flick in which a serial madman places people in �puzzles� in which they have a limited time to escape or die trying. The kick to these puzzles is that they sometimes require you to take the life of another person or end up taking your own in the process. Anyway, it was a very sick and twisted movie�and I loved every second of it. Oh and for those of you familiar with the movie Princess Bride, �Wesley� was the star actor�and star he did.

PT Stump?

I have to admit folks�.I�ve failed my PT mission in the Army. Truthfully I have not done PT in a good two months. I doubt I could pass a PT test right now. I can run, just not as long. I couldn�t push for beans. Sit ups? Yah right�maybe I should start doing this stuff on my own�Nah. That�d just cut into my video game time. I�m happy as is�if I ever need to chase someone I�ll just shoot their legs out.

Tsunami Remembrance

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A poem I found on Iraq War Today.

    Anger at the Sea

    Ah, Little Boy
    so all alone,
    no more parents,
    no more home�.
    lost at the edge
    of the roiling sea
    throwing stones
    as mad as can be
    Oh, little Boy
    in your anger and pain
    you punish the ocean
    again and again
    You hate the sea
    that you used to adore
    It won�t be the same
    no, not any more.
    Christina 1-6-05
    For the Victims of the Tsunami

New Photos

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Just uploaded a ton of sweeet photos. Check �em out. And no dirty comments�.I monitor all incoming traffic and will not hesitate to beat you with your own shoe should you feel it necessary to post something stupid. Big Brother is watching�OBEY!

Chad Lookalike Contest

I guess Chad�s not the only one who likes to look ridiculous when taking pictures. HAHA Check out my buddy Kim.

Gotta purse the lips to make it all work.

Kim, yer still the man! �Best Supporting KATUSA Partner In 2005� at the next Grammy Awards, I swear.

Why Fight It?

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If you get pulled over and it was totally obvious that you broke the law don�t try to explain yourself to the cop, it only bugs �em more. I just wrote a guy for flying through a stop sign that he claims was a yield sign, which doesn�t even help his situation becasue if it even was a yield sign he failed to�.yield that is. Anyway, I don�t care if it even was, either way he gets a ticket and that�s that. Oh yah, and to �help� matters, he tried to show off his �Courtesy Patrol� arm band, by hanging his arm out the window when I approached him�needless to say, it didn�t.

And another thing you don�t do is after you find out that you were right about it being a yeild sign, you don�t drive up along side the issuing authority and tell him in a sense �told ya so". That�s just dumb. Not to mention childsh, cuz you still get the ticket.

*For those of you who get confused whenever you read posts like this; yes they are real, no I will not give you any names, ranks, or any other information that could violate OPSEC.

Portraits of Fallen Warriors

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Michael Reagan is an extremely talented artist who does free portraits for families of fallen soldiers. If you know someone who is related to a fallen soldier please tell them of this man�s service. He is a true blessing to those in grief.

Out On the Beat

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Patrolling last night was pretty much a bunch of the usual but I found a few bits interesting enough to share.

The best part of last night was while my partner and I were patrolling around the base we were monitoring radio traffic when something came on that just caught our ears. Here�s a little synopsis:

Gatekeeper: �2-0, Gatekeeper.�

2-0: �Gatekeeper, this is 2-0�lost somewhere out in Korea.�

Gatekeeper: �Roger, 2-0 I need you to return to mine.� (mine being his location)

2-0: (in an agitated voice) �Roger, as soon as I find my way back onto post.�

What happened was the 2-0 patrol went off post to do security checks and got lost out in the ville. It seems to happen alot though.

We got a couple �Fight in progress� calls that when we arrived on scene�..*crickets�..*more crickets��CQ: �What the? Why are *all the MP�s here? No there was no fight, it was just a couple drunks bein loud. By the way, how�d you guys gt in, I didn�t see you come in through the front?"MP: �We snuck in through the side. I think you are underestimating our sneakiness. Now since there is nothing happening, if you don�t mind we�ll just sneak out the side again."(Actual dialogue�just like in COPS) So turns out that the guy dispatching us likes to blow things WAY out of proportion. Say for example a call comes in of some chick slapping a guy, we get dispatched to �RIOT IN PROGRESS, I REPEAT RIOT IN PROGRESS, FULL CODE IS AUTHORIZED! THE MEDICS ARE EN-ROUTE!"�.we arrive and everyone looks at us like we have nothing better to do than fly into these things with guns drawn and everything just to find one guy whimpering in the corner cuz his woman belittled him in front of his �doggs".

The last little incident was a drunk SSG who puked out the door of the taxi he was in and the female taxi driver was all cryin and stuff and ended up kickin him out. I mean, there wasn�t even any puke in the vehicle so why she was cryin I have no idea�must be a gil thing. So anyway, we arrive on scene and the Duty Officer is there talking with the guy telling him that the taxi doesn�t �have� to take him home if she doesnt want to. So this sloppy drunk starts comparing his E-6 to our Executive Officers rank�.uh, that can�t treally be done seeing as our XO�s an OFFICER!! So this guy just stands there not going anywhere. The XO gives him his choices, either go back inside the bar, go to the bus stop, or just walk home. This guy just stands there, zips up his sweater and just stands there staring at my XO. I�m kinda impatient, especially when I�m cold, so I hop in, �Listen Sargeant, you�re going to be the first to leave tonight. You have three options, go back inside, go sit at the bust stop, or start walkin. What�s it gonna be?� Sure enough he went back inside. Later that night we�re drivin along and the same guy flags us down for a ride. We transport him about ten feet and he says �Right here�s fine.� Stinkin drunks.

* And we mean ALL�every MP on the road was there: 2-1, 2-2, 2-0, and even K-9. That�s a total of 6 MP�s�what is this, LA?