Pass The Brass

Howdy folks. Chad here.

I received a call tonight from my little brother. He was just headed out of New Jersey, makin a stop in Ireland, and landing “over there”. And that was the last time his phone would be in commission. He sent me this camera pic, and it will probably be all we get for the next couple weeks as SF undergo’s some hardcore training. If I get any word from him, I’ll be sure to keep you all updated.

No more internet for a while. I’ll post when I can. See ya!

The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations or A Diversified Approach to Military Operations:

Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can’t find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicures.

Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e. cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel voucher upon return.

Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5-series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don’t understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops

Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALs kill Muslim extremist snakes.

Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake’s life.

Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date.

F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses target due to weather.

AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don’t show well on infra-red.

UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake starts bonfire to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into the fire.

B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can’t receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

CH-47 Pilot: Slingleg breaks in flight while sling loading anti-snake equipment, pilot cuts sling load. Sling load lands on snake and kills it. Crew chief uses dead snake to replace broken slingleg.

Navy Pilot: Draped snake around neck at Tail Hook to pick up chicks.

Military Police: Gave snake a sobriety test for not moving in a straight line then took photos of snake.

Signal: Broadcasts 200,000+ watt transmissions in support of anti-snake missions, accidentally electrocuted snake in the process.

Corps of Engineers: Surveyed and researched area for plans on improving flood plain, can’t do it because snake is on the endangered species list.

Cooks: Snake sneaks in chow hall. Snake dies of food poisoning.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.

In the movie “Back to the Future” they used Chuck Norris’ Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson’s disease.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s crap.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the world, that’s why we have a hole in the O-zone layer.

There is no such thing as paralyzed and unparalyzed people, just people who have met Chuck Norris and people who haven’t.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ordered a pepperoni pizza. When he discovered that they had forgotten the pepperonis, he roundhouse kicked the delivery boy and stapled him to the pizza and ate it.

Chuck Norris’ favorite color is cold blood.

Chuck Norris does not see dead people. He eats them.

If Chuck Norris jumped off a bridge, you would to.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

In high school, Chuck Norris had a reputation. He once used an M-60 heavy-fire machine gun on a bully. 26 innocent deaths was a small price to pay for vigilante justice.

Chuck Norris will eat your soul for a Klondike Bar.

Ok-ok-ok thats enough…there’s too many to list here.

Well, it’s gettin close to that time, so expect a bog in the input for…oooh about the next YEAR or so. I probably wont put anything on here before I go for reasons…um…that I don’t even know there are, but I’m sure that Karma or somethin else would have some kind of bearing on this situation….so I’m just gonna stay quite for once. Send prayers.

Well….I must say…if you ever actually get into a fight and you just happen to be going up against someone profficient in Brazilian Ju Jitsu, the best offensive stance is on your toes….sprinting in the opposite direction. Hopefully you’re faster than they are. Or if you have a gun or something just shoot em quick cuz if not…yer in fer a hertin.

Today was Unarmed Self Defense class and I just happened to team up with just such a person. A real learning experience. But sadly…I got my arse handed to me. Multiple times too. Not the coolest boast, I just calls em like I see’s em.

We learned this stuff back in Basic, but chances are…you wont use it any time soon, unless yer just one of those kinda people. I’ve never been, so everything I learned in Basic was pretty much gone by this time. But we got the recap instruction and then it all comes back to ya(sorta) while you are grappling.

Fun day….until lunch then I freakin lost my beret again…dangit. So now I have to wear my crappy one with the leather band that sticks to your head and takes off a layer of skin everytime you peel it off. Luckily enough, we wont be wearing them for too long. *hint hint* Good stuff. I’m amped right about now. I’ve been talkin with some friends in the Army and a good amount of them will be deploying right around the same time I do. So if things just work out right, I could possibly see them over there. More good stuff.

Allrighty then, lunch is over and it’s back to the pit. If I break anything, you’ll hear about it. woOt!

BECAUSE OF THE AMERINAZIS, JESUS CHRIST HAS REMOVED HIS BLESSING FROM AMERICA. THIS HAPPENS WHEN A COUNTRY BECOMES COMPLETELY CORRUPT AND BEGINS VIOLATING THE LORD’S LAWS FLAGRANTLY. AMERICA’S LAST HALF DOZEN WARS HAVE BEEN WAGED PRIMARILY TO BOOST A PRESIDENT’S POPULARITY RATINGS. THOSE ARE UNJUST WARS, AND EVERYBODY KILLED IN THEM IS A MURDER VICTIM. PLUS, LOOK AT WHAT A DEN OF THIEVES THE AMERICAN MARKETPLACE HAS BECOME. AMERICA IS SOON TO BE TOPPLED, MUCH THE SAME AS HITLER’S WAS WHEN HE WENT TOO FAR. MARK MY WORDS. http://www.mixposure.com/song.php?songid=14027.

AND BE A MAN. POST THIS COMMENT.

ALL MY BEST,
DEAN BERRY

Don’t you love his pathetic little “be a man” comment? He’s not afraid to whip that one out time and again. Lord knows he’s done it here before!

I’m just going to let the rest of it just speak for itself…and if you hear the violins…it’s the worlds saddest song played on the worlds smallest violin.

Dean: Yer old news buddy. La-dee-FRICKIN-DAH!!!

ps. Can I get my “MAN BADGE” now?

I think Chad had a good post on over at PTA.

For all family and friends who might be thinking of sending any mail, please hold off on all mail until I get you the address over there. The mail that is sent now, will not be received, so please hold off on all deliveries. Thanks.

The holidays are gettin close and everyone’s hustlin to get their Christmas gifts for the fam and friends and yet amongst all the joy and candor, there’s still that solemn feeling….it goes along with the chill in the air.

While Americans scramble from store to store, sale to sale….sometimes you might not see the holiday cheer. In it’s place you’ll see stress, fear, irritation, and a mix of other dark feelings that just look out of place. So why is it that during such a fantastic and happy time of year, are people wearing such masks? It’s all this blasted shopping that goes to their heads! It’s that freakin sale at Wal Mart where old ladies are mega morpisized into raging hulks swinging canes at 5 year old girls for even glancing at the toy that granny wanted to get for her grandkid. It’s the kinda sale that gives people the idea that it would be a good idea to get a crew of their bros and block whole isles whilst they fill their carts with all the goods. Are you freakin serious?!?! Is this crap that freakin worth it that we would pack in front of stores, hours before opening and then proceed to trample old women and small children under foot just to get a freakin discount?!?! What could possibly be going through your mind to even remotely rationalize that kind of behaviour…how do you live with yourself afterwards knowing that you were one of those people who trampled that old person to get a freakin pair of slacks for 15 bucks!! Or a damned video game system that is not only going to easily be available at a later time, in greater numbers, with possibly even better options?

I find it hilarious that it takes one of the greatest holidays ever to bring out some of the worst…most savage moments of humans. I’m pretty sure that anyone with any common sense can see the moral decay there. Obviously we’ve lost site of what this season is about. It’s about Santa and a bunch of elves running around in tights and flying reindeer with oddball names like cupid…who names a freakin reindeer cupid? It’s about big boxes wrapped in glittery colors with humungous bows on them and pine trees severed at the base to be propped up and sustained indoors so as to mimic their natural existence…or is it.

I say forget all this stuff for one day. Don’t go shopping today….don’t take advantage of that sale….forget that laptop you’ve always wanted. When someone asks you what you want for Christmas, tell them you want to have a nice dinner at home…with the family, that their company will be the greatest gift they could give. It doesn’t even have to be family….some of us aren’t as blessed to be so lucky. Invite a friend who may be lonely this winter. Instead of worrying about what to get them, just give them some company…some compassion. Gifts are a cheap way to someones heart…and alot of times it doesnt work, or is misinterpreted. Forget about your traditions and the way “Christmas should be”, cuz we obviously don’t have a hang of it anymore.

I say this Christmas just tell someone you love em….someone that you haven’t said it to in a while….a few years maybe. Show some affection to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Kill them with kindness. You may think that sounds pathetic, but there is no stronger emotion….it’s moved mountains. Love was enough reason for a man to die for all of the human race. You can easily show a little to someone who needs it. And for those who may think someone is not deserving of your love….who is? Your Heavenly Father loves you…and you deserve none of it.

So stop with the traditions and just show some stinkin compassion. Just try to cheer someone up….it’ll feel alot better than it will giving them that tie….or those socks. To see someone’s eyes light up from true hapiness…and not that of procured delight…that’s a gift.

“Love your neighbor, even as yourself.”