Pass The Brass

Splitting Heads

07.18.06

I got my first “combat wound” yesterday. I got a cool picture of it I’m gonna post on the photoblog. Sadly, I cleaned the wound out before I snapped the shot, so there’s no gore. I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve even established a small rep.

“Sure Fire’s gonna be the wrong guy to ever get injured here. He’s gonna get his arm blown off and instead of callin for a medic he’s gonna be taking pictures of it.”

Now…there’s a couple rumors floatin around about how I came to get this ‘gaping head wound”. I can neither confirm nor deny any of these tall tales. But I do like one in particular. I think I might use that one on my grandchildren when I show them the scar….if it ever becomes on anyway.

Story 1:

So no shit, there I was drivin down Bakalakadaka Street and the entire strip is completely dead…there aint a soul to be seen. So we already know somethin’s up.

Suddenly, a baddie jumps up on the roof directly across from me with an RPG-7 mounted and ready on his shoulder. Without any hesitation he let’s fly on the trigger and sends a Rocket Propelled Grenade flying my way at just-too-fast-to-dodge speeds. With little to no reaction time I perform a knee-jerk reaction of head butting the RPG. Hey, it sounded good at the time.

*that awesome story donated by one of our interpreters.

Story 2:

Drivin down the main highway, we’re passing a bunch of kids and as my truck rolls by I wave to the kids and tell them that they are the greatest in my best Aribic. In reply one of the them gives me the bird and another chucks a rock at my face. I freeze in abject terror at the audacity of this young innocent child(read: terrorist in training) who hates me simply because I am an American soldier. So being in the “deer-in-the-headlights like stage that I am, the rock glides right into my noggin with a perfect touch down on my upper dorsimus nogginus(laymans terms: Ma fo-head.)

Story 3:

I’m in my room cleaning and my wall locker is opened up as I’m cleaning out the interior. As I’m bent over picking something off the floor, I turn into the wall locker on the ascent and drag my skull plate up the sharp edge of the inside of the walllocker door…ripping the flesh wide open and leaving chuncks of gore hangin on the locker door(Slight exaggeration.) At first I perform the initial reaction of when you smack your head on something; I grip my skull and wince my face as hard as possible and say “Oooooo, that kIIIllllls!” So I did that, then as I pull my handss away I see…”Blood! Blood! Bright red blood!” So I commence to scream like a little two year old girl and run wailing down the hall as the blood spurted from my head plate.

And so like always, it’s now your turn to to cypher this textual transcription and decide which falshoods are….well falsehoods and which truths are really truths. So anyway, I made this one pretty easy for you all. Good luck.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 18th, 2006 at 9:50 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

10 Responses to “Splitting Heads”

OOoooo!!! OOOoooo!!! I know! I know!

p.s. - did you get a purple heart? or just a purple nurple from yer battle buddy?

Chad
July 18th, 2006
im going with number 3:cool:

erik
July 18th, 2006
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm… honestly…. I have NO idea! Gosh! This is crazy! I can’t tell! Can someone just tell me which one REALLY happened? I am so stupid! Dang it! PLEASE!!!

Jame
July 18th, 2006
Hey, I’m gonna go with the illusion that SF really is the awesome hero we all know he is, and say #1 is the truth. Anyway, congrats on the “battle wound”. Those fo-head gashes always make people look dashing.

Pam
July 19th, 2006
I am just going to put this out there…. you can take it or leave it… you can send it right on back… but my guess is going to be #3, because….. just becuse.

Jame
July 19th, 2006
I think the real story is story #4in which heath got pinned down by enemy fire so brandon came in and anihlated all the bad guys rambo style(with bow and large combat knife only).

Then I drank beer and got all the babes and went flying across the pacific on my dragon that wears armor coated in shiny diamonds………and rubys…………….and……………….and………pearls and such things……..of that ..are…..glorious in nature….. while waving and american flag……..:shock:

roadwarrior
July 19th, 2006
Having met many military type males, I feel certain Roadwarrior is giving the straight scoop. I’m sure SF is just humble

SK
July 20th, 2006
#3, definatly number 3.

where’s my prize??

liz
July 21st, 2006
Here’s a high five Liz.

Sure Fire
July 21st, 2006
*sings way off key* Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me…w00t!

liz
July 22nd, 2006