Pass The Brass

So yesterday I get an invite by a good friend to go fishin’ with him. I haven’t been fishin’ since I went home on leave back in June of ‘06 so I was more than happy to accept the invite.

I didn’t end up gettin out to his place till bout an hour and a half till sunset but it’s all good. If the fishin doesn’t turn out, theres always the beer and just the sheer enjoyment of being out on a lake to fall back on.

We took my bud’s new canoe out for a lil troll around the lake and enjoyed a few beers and just hung out till well after dark. Fishing in the dark is awesome! Heh, nah by the time the sun had set all the way we ened up just driftin, drinkin beer and just hangin out on the lake. I had forgot how much I really enjoyed being able to just paddle around a lake.

So I’m thinkin in an effort to help me get out of the room and away from my previous anti-socialite status, I’m gonna go pick me up a nice cheap lil kayak and strap it to The Beast and just go hit the lake whenever I’m bored now. What better way to just relax and spend time with God than out on a lake in nature? This will be a perfect time for me to just get back into The Word and start building up my spirit. I can’t wait to go find a good kayak now!

I wanna be able to get back into the outdoors like I used to do back home in Idaho. Granted these semi-swamp lakes aren’t near as beautiful as those in the great North West, they’re still nice to let me just cruise around and enjoy fresh air, the sun, the fish, and all the greatness of God’s green Earth.

Everyone who’s ever been there can tell you that being in Irak sux. One of the worst aspects is just being away from family and friends. And not just the next state over kind of away…the other side of the world kind of away! And that makes it even harder to communicate with family and friends via real-time such as phone calls and the like. But one of the greatest ways to communicate to family and loved ones over there is by writing to them.

I remember coming in from a mission to see a large pile of holiday cards sittin in the Day Room that we could go through and pick which ones we wanted out of the pile. It was very heart warming to just go spend some of your down time just reading through a bunch of those cards. I can tell you from experience I spent more than a few hours doing just that on the holidays we got cards.

But don’t think you need to be all super creative and make a card yourself. Anything you send is appreciated immensely by troops over there. Its the thought that counts really. Just knowing that there are still American minded people back home who think of and pray for troops overseas is enough to make any soldier smile and ease the stress of living over there.

So this is where Momma Kat comes in! She has been a huge supporter of troops overseas and has ran numerous card drives like this one and has blessed many soldiers for years now. Last years Operation Love From Home collected 20,000 cards to send over to Irak and Afghanistan. That’s alot of cards. So this years goal is it to try to beat that number! If they could make it last year, I know it can be beaten this year!

Here’s Momma Kat’s Flyer for the details.

Seeing as this site was originally created to cover all aspects of my life(for the most part) I think it’s time I bring in some of the other stuff besides my simplistic and occasionally ridiculously stupid thoughts.

I don’t seem to be harboring that fear of someone watching my blog anymore. And seeing as for the most part all I have been posting on is spiritual and mental turmoil with an occasional hate for politics thrown in the mix, I’m not really afraid of anyone getting on here saying how I’m violating some kind of OPSEC cuz frankly….I’m almost to the point where I want this to be as far from military as possible, haha!! Interesting the way things are comin along here.

So what have I been up to over the last few months? Well truthfully not much. My months consist of 3 weeks working my “other job” and then one week training for the Special Reaction Team here on post where I retain the nickname “Tweak”. I couldn’t tell you why, to be honest. Heh…yah right.

Those other three weeks are spent sitting in a small room with a cage for a door. Inside of this room are guns…lots of guns. I play Armorer for those 3 weeks. To tell the truth though, I absolutely love the job. Funny part is nobody else who works the job likes it even remotely. HAHA! What can I say, I’m a Solitary Man. I actually prefer the midnight shifts and just going and breathing the night air while waiting for the next shift of cops to either come pick up weapons or turn em in. Something about standing in a spot that is normally buzzing with activity and just enjoying the silence and calm solitude that just makes me feel to focus my Chi…um…or something like that. And for anyone that knows me, thats a good thing.

Oh and I’m in the middle of that whole painting my car project I talked about while I was in Irak. So far I have painted everything except the roof and part of the side panels. I’m still working on the design for the hood painting. I can’t decide how I want to lay it out, and how I’m going to apply it, ie: stencil, or freehand. I’ve been just painting her in stages really. And every stage looks better than the last. I slowly get better at learning how to apply the spray without it looking like absolute crap. You can see a HUGE difference in the panels. I’ve been taking photos of the panels as I go so I’m keeping it all well documented.

You’ll most likely see the photos here soon as Chad implements his new design. I want to incorporate my Flickr photo stream and bring another aspect of reality to this site. I don’t update the photos too often these days as my camera is practically dead now. She still takes pics, but can’t focus for beans in normal mode any more. I have to keep it on macro setting just to stay focused on anything. I really want to be able to pick up a Nikon D40 or something later on but as it is I have to stick to what I got.

So that about sums it up. I’ll try to keep this place lively with new content. God bless!

Kim du Toit did a post recently that really caught my attention. First, by the words of his first quote, and secondly by the comments from his readers. Apparently there was a small consensus going around that this nation is spiraling down a political sewer drain towards the creeping and “unstoppable” socialism that the left wing libs so desire.

I can only wonder how much truth this “prophecy” may hold. Only time will tell. But I have been screaming that one for years about how completely dead politics are. This nation needs a revolution…not a political agenda. With all the madness that is going on in Washington D.C. it’s a wonder that the Amendments still hold any sway at all. At times it seems as if they have been abandoned and are merely there for the political figures to temporarily appease the people.

I’m not sure if anyone remembers a certain line that this nation was founded off of, but I think it still holds the key to this nations cure for the disease that is politics. It goes a little something like this….”A government of the people, by the people, for the people”

Politics Are For Loooosers

As the wheels of fate turn, a new chapter in the history of the world begins.

“Well…what had happened was…”

“I have been doing a lot of thinkin lately…a lot of drinkin and a lot of thinkin…”

And what I have come to determine is that thing’s got bad folks…real bad. But aint that just the story of my life here? HAHA!

I had a very healthy chat with a very good friend of mine recently and have since come to my senses. I have also been running through my history and reading up on my previous posts and laughing again at all the good times that have been had on this site and thinking to myself? What happened?

Pre deployment this place was lively and fun even after I had that lil mishap with the chain of command and whatnot. But looking through the history you could see a HUGE degradation of content from about mid Irak(June-ish timeframe) on to the most recent posts being comprised entirely of hate, anger, self loathing, and utter discontent for life in general. Basically the kind of crap that turns people into cesspools. I feel such a deep longing for the way things used to be as well as a desire to fix things. A desire to start anew. Things need to change in my life. I had reached yet another stagnant time and had wallowed into a self destructive mental state from which only death and destruction would have been wrought had it not been for the eternal mercies of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

So first and foremost I owe everyone an apology. I am not too proud to realize how much I have shamed myself recently and I fully humble myself and confess my sins before man so that God may forgive me.

I realize what a fool I have been played for by my own self deceptions. I had bought so far into a pessimistic attitude that I was completely blinding myself to the true point to my own existence. I was committing spiritual suicide of sorts. And as much as I feel certain people deserve credit for helping me to finally “snap out of it”…I feel I owe them much more. I feel as if I owe them my life.

I do not expect forgiveness for those I have wronged. What I’ve done goes beyond any simple “I’m sorry”. But at the moment it’s all I have. I can only hope that in time I will have shown that I can be a better person as long as I keep my eyes set on the true goal. So from here on out you will see a change in the atmosphere.

So to all of you who have known me in the past…I’m back! Maybe a little less, but with a desire to build myself up again with your help and to be able to show that love that I once held. I would like to resume that relationship we had when we first began.

As many times as one may fall, trip, stumble or fail…are they allowed to stand again and again? Is there ever a limit? Or is the true test in whether they get back up at all after so many failings?

Christ teaches eternal forgiveness…but we as humans have a hard time with that.

Can one repeatedly fail and still hope to achieve victory at the end of the fight? It’s not like there’s a consolation prize to look forward to…it’s win or lose. So is it even feasible….reasonable to think of success as even viable with so many shortcomings?

In fighting the good fight…is it just to keep standing up after you’ve fallen?

I realize that anything is possible with Christ…with faith that can move mountains…but what is true measure of faith? That of a mustard seed seems small…insignificant…and yet there are times where it seems ones faith doesn’t even measure up to that! Such a minuscule thing and still we do not compare. How many times must we stand yet again?

Is this but a resounding noise? A clanging cymbal? Am I just repeating myself here?…yah I guess I am.

Ok let’s get back to basics here…

I realize that everything there is pretty much a sugar coating to the underlying question. And yet a question it still remains. Is there a limit to how many times we can fail and expect redemption? Is grace sufficient for even one as faulty as I? I deserve nothing and yet Christ offers me eternal life and in His paradise no less! How can I even begin to comprehend the grace there? I want to be comfortable in my knowledge of Him but He is so vast that I cannot even wrap my mind around it. I can’t even begin to fathom the infinite depths of His mercy.

Time after time I fail, fall, and lose my way, and yet time and again He is there to guide me back. But with such a history…can I expect a reward for my unfaithful past? Not even a past….just a way of life. To look back and see how many times I was dwelling in damnation…how can I expect to truly be ready when He decides to take me home?

I have so many questions that may never see answers…only insights. I fear for what I may be damning myself to with such a disgustingly unfaithful life. He blesses me with it and I choose to live it selfishly.

“Where do we go from here?”

PERSEVERANCE

“Your world is coming apart! Better stand fast!”

>>> I guess this word has now adopted a new meaning. A new fight.