Pass The Brass

As the wheels of fate turn, a new chapter in the history of the world begins.

“Well…what had happened was…”

“I have been doing a lot of thinkin lately…a lot of drinkin and a lot of thinkin…”

And what I have come to determine is that thing’s got bad folks…real bad. But aint that just the story of my life here? HAHA!

I had a very healthy chat with a very good friend of mine recently and have since come to my senses. I have also been running through my history and reading up on my previous posts and laughing again at all the good times that have been had on this site and thinking to myself? What happened?

Pre deployment this place was lively and fun even after I had that lil mishap with the chain of command and whatnot. But looking through the history you could see a HUGE degradation of content from about mid Irak(June-ish timeframe) on to the most recent posts being comprised entirely of hate, anger, self loathing, and utter discontent for life in general. Basically the kind of crap that turns people into cesspools. I feel such a deep longing for the way things used to be as well as a desire to fix things. A desire to start anew. Things need to change in my life. I had reached yet another stagnant time and had wallowed into a self destructive mental state from which only death and destruction would have been wrought had it not been for the eternal mercies of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

So first and foremost I owe everyone an apology. I am not too proud to realize how much I have shamed myself recently and I fully humble myself and confess my sins before man so that God may forgive me.

I realize what a fool I have been played for by my own self deceptions. I had bought so far into a pessimistic attitude that I was completely blinding myself to the true point to my own existence. I was committing spiritual suicide of sorts. And as much as I feel certain people deserve credit for helping me to finally “snap out of it”…I feel I owe them much more. I feel as if I owe them my life.

I do not expect forgiveness for those I have wronged. What I’ve done goes beyond any simple “I’m sorry”. But at the moment it’s all I have. I can only hope that in time I will have shown that I can be a better person as long as I keep my eyes set on the true goal. So from here on out you will see a change in the atmosphere.

So to all of you who have known me in the past…I’m back! Maybe a little less, but with a desire to build myself up again with your help and to be able to show that love that I once held. I would like to resume that relationship we had when we first began.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 24th, 2007 at 3:57 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.