Pass The Brass

Well these past few days in the field have been some of the best training I have received in the Army yet. Even having spent a year in Korea I feel like I have had more soldier training in these past few days than I did in the year I was in Korea. Not that we didn’t do anything over there, but I did nothing but Garrison police work and never got any true field experience which is what I wanted to do from the get go. So I finally got my wish…even to a greater extreme.

So anyway, these last few days were filled with dirt, sweat, vomit, and misfires. Oh and a couple deaths(simulated). Overall I was rather pleased with myself in that I didn’t cause anyone else’s death except my own….dangit. But it was an awesome experience and I feel that much more confident in myself for when I face the real thing. Also, our platoon did exceptional in all of our scenarios and got many compliments from the higher ups which is very good for us. Let’s move on to the more fun parts.

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To tell the truth, I had never met anyone or even really seen anyone actually dip or chew until I had joined the Army. All of a sudden it was like everyone and their mother dipped or chewed and I was the odd man out. It was kind of odd. And I have even seen some people that have been dipping for the better part of their natural born lives and definitely show signs of decay. But that could also have been a bi-product of not brushing ones teeth…..*shudder* I still have nightmares of that grill.

So anyway, we’re sittin around cleanin weapons and I decide I’m gonna try it and see what all the rage is about. My dip of choice: SKOAL Wintergreen Long Cut. So I grab a “mad fat dip” and plant that sucker in my lower lip and get to spittin’. After about 2 minutes of that stuff burnin in to my lower gums, It hits me like a sack of taters. My head was spinnin and I had lean against something just to keep my balance. I thought it was awesome, and so did everyone else….but that was for a different reason.

I had heard from others that said they puked their guts out the first time they dipped, but it was usually cuz they had swallowed either some of the dip, or the whole thing. So I’m tryin not to swallow any with pretty good success. A few small bits every now and then, but no chuncks get ingested. So I’m thinkin’ to myself, “I’ve got a pretty strong stomach, I can prolly get away with out throwin’ up.” Meanwhile everyone else is gettin a kick out of the fact that this is my first dip and it hit me so hard. They all know what’s comin.

So I’m sittin there after about 10-12 minutes of a light head and decide….”this is a bit strong…I think I put too big a dip in.” So I decide it’s enough and go and throw the dip out and get back to weapon cleaning hoping this buzz will wear off. Well…..it didn’t. I was already swimmin with the sharkies so now I had to fight my way out. Meanwhile everyone else is still laughin’ at me for spittin it out and are sittin like condors at the site of a dying animal. Great.

As we’re resuming cleaning I’m trying to get some deep breaths goin to calm the stomach down and keep the Chicken Fajita dinner we had just eaten. A few minutes after spittin it ou my team mates are all gathering around saying “I’ve never actually seen someone turn green.”"Hey Sure Fire, you match your BDU’s!” Uh-oh. I go check a mirror and sure enough…I’m green in the face. And not feelin too hot. It was a strange mixture of feelings too. I was sweatin bullets, and felt like my bowels were just gonna drop. I’m gettin even more light headed and then that feeling comes on…weak, lurching….growing….oh crap! I’m headin out behind the trucks when the first firing order erupts. BLEARGH! “BWAAAA HAHA HA!!!” I guess the first few iterations were kinda loud cuz in a matter of seconds, the entire camp knew someone was ralphin’ their guts out.

So there I am leanin up against a tree and eating dinner backwards, which tasted terrible I might add. I lost pretty much everything I ate that night, so the next mornings breakfast was consumed rather quickly and gratefully. After I finished emptying my stomach, I washed my mouth out and went back to weapons cleaning and felt suprisingly better. So for the rest of our time in the field, I was the butt of any dip jokes, or barfing jokes.

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Oh and the two dying situations…technically one, cuz the first time I just got my ear drums blown out.

As we were patrolling a sector, I had a bomb go off next to my truck and blew my ear drums out. What I learned from this experience? They won’t be giving you any pain killers for that kind of an injury so as not to send any chemicals to your brain and possibly worsen your condition. Great.

The second time I died was a lucky shot on the enemies part as he did one of those pop out the window and spray n pray tactics and just happened to land a round in my left armpit, thus causing me to start spurting blood. I ended up bleeding to death due to the fact that the situation we were in was so heavy and I was unable to be evacuated. Mind you, my team did do what they could to help me out, but it was just my time to go. Sadly, I didn’t take any of them with me. But we did do good overall and eventually accomplished the mission. Word.

Oh by the way, these death’s are simulated. Just excersizes. I know what you’re thinking, who would be stupid enough to think I actually died and still managed to type this thing out, but as the saying goes…”There’s always one.”

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Overall the training was extremely awesome and I learned some very useful stuff that will help me out whenever I hit the real thing. The more the merrier. I love this stuff. I think next time I’m gonna try Red Man Chew.

Posted by Sure Fire in Field • Comments (8)